Tuesday, August 04, 2009
how can a young man (and woman) keep their way pure?
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
psalm119:9-16
Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.
God, let holiness and You be a greater passion than passions thenselves...
Saturday, August 01, 2009
i wish...
...i wasnt so confined in my thinking,
narrow in my mindset.
there's so much out there,
which i don't know,
nor will i ever know.
brought up in a onekind environment,
really realising the smallness of the comfort zone...
social life is gone,
all i have now are friends who grew up with me.
but that's enough.
though i wonder, how should i broaden my horizons,
and explore the world.
yet i know the answers.
being illcontented is redundant.
counting my blessings, amidst the injustice,
reality is real.
how can i survive?
there comes a breaking point, what we know, where we come from, how we were raised,
just seems not enough.
there's a greater world there.
but its not the greatest.
living in that greatest world,
is great enough.
a taste.
but i still long to be a coffee bean.
even in my naiiveity.
break out man.
time to break out.
the nice nice of the comfort zone must crumble and bring about a christianity that need no trying too hard, yet knows but defies the standards.
and that's the refining zone.
'nice' christianity must come to the point where engagement is not merely a different group of ppl trying to make sure others believe and act like us, but a dynamic, real passion which illuminates the emptiness that consumes the everything within anyone's soul.
sometimes i wonder if the methods we've been using for decades still hold true...
look at the acts christians.
that's real faith man.
thankful to be given a chance to be expanded and opened up.
engagement.
is so difficult.
if a bgr can have difficulties engaging each other, i wonder, how much more difficult is it for us to engage the world.
many are called, few are chosen.
maybe my definitions of life, of ministry, of people, of mindsets, are so narrow, that it narrows everything to a small cube.
of which i compress and simplify the cube and ignore the details. and then choose to see it as narrowly as possible, fitting in the already small narrow mindset in me.
we were discussing yest at al-meen woodlands whats bold prayers and presumptousness.
and sometimes we just gotta pray. and know Him and know whats on His heart.
it's a mystery.
sometimes God answers prayer with amazing awesomeness, manifesting His glory, whereas sometimes He does answer a no, or a wait.
and in the case of the 'wait', He may give your requests many years down the road, but while knowing He blessed you, you begin to realise that what you asked for many years ago, what you prayed so earnestly for, so much cuz you really wanted it,
you begin to realise how much you dont really want it as much now as then.
(gah, i need to read! my english is getting so cui)
i seem to be getting stupider, shallower, less passionate, and trying too hard since i came to army.
social life has disappeared, and your view of reality is much less clear.
it becomes so distant, and sometimes you wonder what is real, what isn't, and reality becomes fogged up and you get out of touch with it.
but the fogginess doesnt cover what is real, only, well, fogs it.
in the fog, i still know what is real.
God.
Christ.
Cross.
faith.
love
joy
peace
the unsafe-ness of ppl and trusting in them, just amplifies the safe-ness in God's presence.
God is big.
out of touch, out of reality.
God help.
argh. my thinking is screwed up.
thoughtpatterns are cui-ed.
discouraged. ironically not by draining ppl, but simply by very nice people.
whom you wish could step up and love and be passionate and at least engage.
but ohwell.
what will be will be.
God help.
narrow in my mindset.
there's so much out there,
which i don't know,
nor will i ever know.
brought up in a onekind environment,
really realising the smallness of the comfort zone...
social life is gone,
all i have now are friends who grew up with me.
but that's enough.
though i wonder, how should i broaden my horizons,
and explore the world.
yet i know the answers.
being illcontented is redundant.
counting my blessings, amidst the injustice,
reality is real.
how can i survive?
there comes a breaking point, what we know, where we come from, how we were raised,
just seems not enough.
there's a greater world there.
but its not the greatest.
living in that greatest world,
is great enough.
a taste.
but i still long to be a coffee bean.
even in my naiiveity.
break out man.
time to break out.
the nice nice of the comfort zone must crumble and bring about a christianity that need no trying too hard, yet knows but defies the standards.
and that's the refining zone.
'nice' christianity must come to the point where engagement is not merely a different group of ppl trying to make sure others believe and act like us, but a dynamic, real passion which illuminates the emptiness that consumes the everything within anyone's soul.
sometimes i wonder if the methods we've been using for decades still hold true...
look at the acts christians.
that's real faith man.
thankful to be given a chance to be expanded and opened up.
engagement.
is so difficult.
if a bgr can have difficulties engaging each other, i wonder, how much more difficult is it for us to engage the world.
many are called, few are chosen.
maybe my definitions of life, of ministry, of people, of mindsets, are so narrow, that it narrows everything to a small cube.
of which i compress and simplify the cube and ignore the details. and then choose to see it as narrowly as possible, fitting in the already small narrow mindset in me.
we were discussing yest at al-meen woodlands whats bold prayers and presumptousness.
and sometimes we just gotta pray. and know Him and know whats on His heart.
it's a mystery.
sometimes God answers prayer with amazing awesomeness, manifesting His glory, whereas sometimes He does answer a no, or a wait.
and in the case of the 'wait', He may give your requests many years down the road, but while knowing He blessed you, you begin to realise that what you asked for many years ago, what you prayed so earnestly for, so much cuz you really wanted it,
you begin to realise how much you dont really want it as much now as then.
(gah, i need to read! my english is getting so cui)
i seem to be getting stupider, shallower, less passionate, and trying too hard since i came to army.
social life has disappeared, and your view of reality is much less clear.
it becomes so distant, and sometimes you wonder what is real, what isn't, and reality becomes fogged up and you get out of touch with it.
but the fogginess doesnt cover what is real, only, well, fogs it.
in the fog, i still know what is real.
God.
Christ.
Cross.
faith.
love
joy
peace
the unsafe-ness of ppl and trusting in them, just amplifies the safe-ness in God's presence.
God is big.
out of touch, out of reality.
God help.
argh. my thinking is screwed up.
thoughtpatterns are cui-ed.
discouraged. ironically not by draining ppl, but simply by very nice people.
whom you wish could step up and love and be passionate and at least engage.
but ohwell.
what will be will be.
God help.
