Sunday, January 15, 2012

 

just. a. rant.

Maybe it's the lack of purpose.
maybe it's sin?

Why the chaos? Why the making of chaos as if it is my best friend.
Living with it all my life, does that mean that it is what it is meant to be?
If Chaos is normal, then is normal abnormal?

in the chaos, in the confusion. Uncle Muntoh told me two things i can do.
Focus on the sin, the chaos, the addictions, or focus on Christ.
Both are choices. Both are equally real. Both with pain still very much present.
but one with Hope.

In our Chaos, in our sinfulness, in our addictions, what do we, i see?

Am i a sinner? or am i forgiven?
I choose to see which one I am, and live that way.

Nicodemus of the bible had so much knowledge it jammed his actions.
in that whole episode in John 3,
Jesus mentions the word 'believe' 7x. Compare this to the next chapter in John 4, with the Samaritan woman.. 'Believe' was mentioned once, while 'worship', 7x.

The Pharisee Nicodemus was a leader of the pharisees.
And he was told to believe.
Here was a man who wanted to believe, wanted to be with Jesus.
But wanted more knowledge, more information, to make a learned choice.
Being a learner all his life, he learnt, and learnt. and taught sometimes.
Led committees, led this led that.

And he needed to believe.

He didnt' dare leave what he was comfortable with, and only spoke up in soft way in John 7.
The only time he gathered the courage to do something that makes a difference for Jesus, is AFTER he died.

how long must we wait before we do something for Jesus?

Living, is believing. Believing is not what you say you believe, but what you do.
So check our actions. what have you been doing already???
That's what you already believe.

Don't bluff ourselves, that weu are Christian, a follower of God, an imitator of Christ.
we probably are self worshippers, sex worshippers, or music worshipppers or whatever.

Pharisee Nicodemus kept asking questions, to diffuse the limelight and the searching light of Christ from His own personal belief.

Until we are able to say what 'i' believe just seeing what we do, it will be the Great I worshipping you, god. so give me face and let me have what i think is what i feel is right. then i say god has the glory.

have i really believed?
have i been living what i believed?
if i believe that Jesus is the Son of God, do i live like Jesus has all authority?
if I believe that Jesus came to redeem, do i live like so?
if i believe that Jesus brings about transformation, whose first words in His ministry was 'repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near', do i live like so?

If we all live like what we believe, we won't recognise ourselves.

Most often, we want to retain what we think is familiar, simply cuz thats who we think 'we are'.
or 'i grew up like that what'.

we usually grow up far from who we truly are.

In living like Jesus is true, we grow closer to who we are supposed to be.
We don't change to be some nicer, more level-up version of ourselves.

And in this loss of purpose, the stuff all come back.
the focus is all gone, the addictions rule, the chaos is normal again.

Maybe one day, with a real sense of purpose, with a real calling.I want this one day soon!
I will not be who i am now.
The so-called Nuacodemus as called by my army friends and... yes my socalled closest friends.
will not be nua anymore.

The reason why isolation happens to anyone is no one's fault but your own.
it's a consequence that you should bear, a real consequence of something, some law of the world, that was crossed.

And it's about time that we learn not to expect some kind soul to have 'compassion' on us and rescue us.

Pain is purifying.
We forget that we were punished when we were children, but the real times (amidst the not-rea timesl) we received proper discipline, we know that it caused us to be better.

In relieving someone of his discipline and consequence, is to not love him in the long run but to exhibit selfishness in quelling your own momentary emotional 'compassion' of ' i can't bear to see him suffer, so poor thing'.
This is true of children, no matter how old,
BGR,
and christian community amongst many other examples.

We have been so tolerant of each other's sin so often, we steer our churchy discussions away from our own sinfulness.
"its ok la. its ok to drink as long......."
"yea let's accept him, cuz Jesus told us to love, so we love and show that church is actually a nice smiley place" knowing he/she has been overtly living a antiGod lifestyle even in and out of church.
nothing against drinking. but it's just the most prevalent example i can think of.

and i don't really care about offending anyone now.

in my own life, if we were to ask ourselves these same qns, we'll probably change our own thoughts to something more cheery like reading our FB newsfeed.

and it is said that counsellors should go for at least 8 sessions of counselling. But most people who love helping others, forget they need help first. And because they do so much ministering, it will be harder to get ministered to, cuz they actually know what's going on!

Same like pharisee Nicodemus.
he led, he taught, but no one saw his heart.
questions was used as a defence, to throw back to the questioner cuz he didn't want sin to be made obvious.

There's an old song called, 'If you don't love Jesus, don't come to church'.
Church is a place for the redeemed, and those seeking salvation. It is a place where, we all are broken, and redeemed, and worshipping together. We know the dark pasts that we all had, but we all all use our brokenness, talents, in worship. As worship is the expression of being forgiven, and living that life of forgiven-ness. and choosing not to go back. if we falter, people warn u, love u, help u in your picking up, rescue u if necessary, and restore u back to community.

If after so long in church, we realised we don't love jesus.

Don't come to church.




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